So how about this for a new way of voting?
Finance Bill has been eavesdropping
again and thinks he could be on to something.
Having become lost in the corridors of
Whitehall before Parliament is dissolved, he somehow found himself in the
Private Members’ Bar, ensconced in his favourite Chesterfield club chair and
sipping a Gloriously Clueless cocktail. Right next to a couple of Honourable
Members who appeared to be discussing horseracing…
Now, even though listening to others’
conversations is somewhat rude, at times it’s just impossible not to hear
what’s being said – especially when you’re straining as best you can to filter
out the background noise.
And despite knowing how rumours can be
started like this, Finance Bill was in no doubt. His ears pricked up when he
heard the words “Prime Minister” and
“wanting to secure a strong stable” for
“National Interest”. And then “one-horse race”. Whoever would have
guessed that the PM was entering a filly at Ascot!
Still straining, he heard talk turn to
gambling and the members’ Thursday-night bridge and poker games; intermingled
with comments about other Right Honourable Members and exclamations of “Oh,
what a card!”
And then Finance Bill’s ears well and
truly pricked up. Was he really hearing this correctly? Either he’d uncovered a
cunning ruse, or else he’d completely got the wrong end of the stick. Not for
the first time.
There was going to be a snap election!
An election decided by one of the oldest and simplest card games ever invented.
How ingenious! Finance Bill ordered another cocktail and filled in the gaps for
himself. Party candidates would be entered into the draw and matching pairs
elected with a jubilant cry of “Snap!”. And to prevent anyone unwanted taking
office, for effect, a candidate would still be entered, but, rather cunningly –
and unbeknownst to them – would only have one card…
Just in case you’ve been living in
blissful isolation, the Prime Minister has decided to ever-so-slightly bring
forward the general election originally planned for 2020; and called a snap
election for 8th June 2017. And, as far as we know, it will still be
conducted in the traditional way.
Finance Bill remains unconvinced
though. He can’t stop thinking about the possibility of pulling out two Jokers.
Brenda from Bristol, over to you…
Until next month...
Until next month...
